Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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