The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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