Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My vagina just clenched in fear
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
