Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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