I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
