Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
