you guys were way drunker than both of me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
