This girl is more easily done than said...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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