I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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