Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize