haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
