these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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