I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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