Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
