Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
