I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
