It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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