i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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