i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
