I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
