oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
