Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize