You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
