You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I will be naked everywhere
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
