You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize