don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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