As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Randomize
