oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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