let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
