Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
