That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
