I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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