Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
