i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
