Sry I called you an 8
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
