just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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