I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
