I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
