we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
