The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I am available for nakedness
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
