something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
