Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
