those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
