Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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