just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
me + whiskey = a bad person
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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