What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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