Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
