I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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