This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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