I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
