He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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