Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize