Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
