they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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