haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
